My Mother “Mary Needs Some Discipline”

This was a surprising discovery.

Tucked among my parents’ papers was a handwritten note from Sister Mary Maurice, given to my grandmother: Mrs. Hannigan, my mother’s mother. The cursive is careful and perfect, the kind of handwriting that reflects discipline.

The note is not addressed, which suggests it was likely handed directly to my grandmother.  A private exchange.

And the content:

It speaks of a different version of my mother than the one I have known.

The Sister writes that “Mary needs some discipline as far as I am concerned.”  She goes on to describe my mother as  “saucy, inattentive, careless about her lessons…..and seems to do anything and everything in class that will disturb others.”

I have no experience of my mother being careless or inattentive about anything. And yet here, in this note, is a glimpse of a moment in time when she pushed back and tested limits.

There is something wonderful about this note.  Here was a teacher asking for help with a student’s behavior and the concern for her student.   

The Sister writes: “I find the parents wonderfully cooperative.”  In these words, she is creating a partnership with an understanding that guiding a child is shared work.

She is not only asking for discipling, but prayers for herself.  She is acknowledging that teaching requires patience and grace.

In this small handwritten note, I learn of my mother’s small rebellion and the response from those that cared about her:  her teacher and parent and the relationship they shared in shaping the life of a child.